All By Myself

Glanced at the title, for sure, it's an emo rant coming your way.

*shot*

Sooo, nothing much happened, in cheras that is. Just the same old usual scolding, screaming, laughing, sadness, anger, happiness.

But for me, it was sadness, all the way.

Because i dont 'feel home' whenever i'm in school. It just deepens the wound whenever i feel like i dont belong.

Especially when im with my friends. Not just in Cheras though, in Subang too.

I dont understand why, but even when i'm sad, there's always a smile, upon my face. Weird.

I can see that most of my friends, dont need my help anymore, huh. Might be because i don't exist in one's life.

I kinda made everyone disappointed, sad, furious, frustrated, and stuff.

So people might have thought that it's best to get rid of me, while, i just want to be alone, in the corner of my room, playing a sad song with my guitar, while i cry with sadness and a smile upon my face.

I'm crazy yet weird. People tend to further themselves away from me.

People around me may look happy, but what could their minds be thinking about me? Only God knows what.

My friends, they dont need me to help them with their problems anymore. All i can say is,

'Ahh sure, it's okay, i dont mind if you dont need my help anymore.'

Everytime i'll ask my friends, whenever they're sad, 'Are you ok?'

'No it's okay, i'm fine.'

'I dont want to talk about it.'

These are the common sentences i have from most of my friends.

I'll be walking away with heavy foot-steps. Because i'll be thinking that i'm useless, as usual, and always.

I'll always be the useless person that everyone knows, unable to help when people needs my help, chicken out when people needs my help.

'Don't worry, be happy'

That was my motto. It's the cause of making me smile whenever i'm sad. But it doesn't usually work.

I don't even know why i draw. Why did i draw?

I don't know what i want to do in life. Prolly rot in a corner?

Why do i try so hard to get something when i know i wont be able to reach it?

What will my career be in the future? You cant be a comic artist, you suck at drawing.

My dreams, were crushed by my family and friends, leaving me hollow, knowing nothing about the future, of what i really want to do.

I'd love to be in somewhere, where my mind could rest. Heaven.

Thinking of what i want to do in life, 'Rome isn't build in a day'.

My rant ends here for today, i'm getting tired, i need to sleep.

Go listen to the song, 'All By Myself' by Eric Carmen. Meaningful song.

Peace out.