Betrayed

Been awhile since i updated any artworks ye?

Well yes, i feel betrayed. Why?

Because i supported my friend the other time and now when i need her support, she friggin' sided my 'so called' friend and sounder. Lol.

Now a few lessons i learned.
1. Never support any of my friends in that gang anymore.
2. Never put my trust on them so easily.
3. Always learn to stand up for myself.
4. If they messed with me... Would i still get scared of them? LOL.
5. Never ever let them take advantage of me just because i have a weak heart and a generous person. OTL;;
6. Never ever be afraid.

They're the type of people who likes to gossip and backstab people. Not my type to hang out with. D:

Took me a day to think if i was wrong saying rashful things to them, but even though i think i'm right and i shouldnt be saying sorry to them, i sms-ed them and told them i'm sorry anyway, lol.

I dont want to lose them, because i have my reasons. LOL. Even though if i'm still with them, i wont hang out with them as much as i used too anymore. XD;;

I probably cant do most of the things i mentioned above. LOL. I'm just too afraid of them. D:

Sucks, really wish i was staying in Subang and not in KL. D:

I told my problems to alot of people, and they're telling me,


'...Are these really your friends?'

'They're not treating you the right way, you shouldn't be treated like this.'

'They're going TOO overboard as being this 'true' friends thing, i dont even think they're true friends, if they really are your true friends, they should be thinking of you too.'

'Do you want to be with them and be sad again later on or be sad now and be happy later on because you left them? This people cant be called friends.'

'Omg, just because of homework they're doing this to you? Unbelievable, lol.'

'If they're treating you like this then what about us? We even bullied the teachers we're uncomfortable with in our school! If we were in your place we could've been worst, LOL.'

'...That's just slack. D:'


I'm not kidding this are what my friends really said. LOL.

Well, at least im a wee bit brave enough to enter school now? XD;;

Because i know there are other people who's still beside me and supporting me. 8D

Even though these people arent treating me right, i still treated them as a friend because i dont like losing friends, reason why i cried so much the other day. OTL;;

I'll let them assume whatever they want, i'll let them assume that im scared of them, but i know i'm not. Somewhere deep in me though. LOL.

Someday, if i become famous over something, i'll say i know these people and these are the people that brought me down but i still stuck with them like glue because i dont like the thought of losing my friends, they didnt appreciate of what and who i am and wanted me to change, to someone who would study, do every homework given by the teachers, and probably teacher's pet? LOL, now that i think about it, it is slack. D:. I was planning to say that i dont know them. LOL. But that's really harsh? I dont know which is harsher though. LOL.

This might sound hilarious and almost impossible but i think i want to be a singer and a manga artist? OTL;;

I kinda got motivated into being a singer because of this wee problem. LOL. So i can go to them and say HAH, IN YO FACE! >8D LOL. Yes, i am that evil. XD;;

Well, i'm not as sad as i think i am now, just a bit of this and that, you know, mixed feelings. XD;;

That's about it, will blog more tomorrow i guess. 8D.

Peace. 8Dv

EDIT:

Well, I sms-ed my friends a while ago, around 9.30 or something, and was very glad i could clear some things up, because i needed to tell them that i wont be able to change to the person they want me to be and such. They told me they wont change their mind unless i change, so i told them i understand their decision as i understand mine and asked how do we settle this, she told me to leave it as it'll be.

My another friend is mad and disappointed at me, but, if she's mad and disappointed i cant do anything, i'm just glad i was able to tell them what i felt. 8D. Maybe she's just not matured enough to just forget about it, well she does have the attitude of a child i suppose, but im not blaming her, just saying maybe she isn't as matured as i thought she'd be even though she's the type that studies and finishes her homework. XD;;. If you're wondering if we're still friends, i can only say we're between the borderline? XD;;. At least there's a new opened path for me to walk into. 8D

I dont have to walk in this road full with despair and disappointment anymore for now, i shall now strive what i want to do, looking forward into the future. 8D

Because of them, i couldn't do anything much and alot of stuff that i was interested was fading away, now i can chase all those stuff back again. 8D

For some weird reason, i always whine about how i would disappoint people, but now, i'm just glad and relaxed. 8D. Must be the song i'm currently listening to. XD;;

'Let it Out' by Miho Fukuhara.

2nd Ending of FMA : Brotherhood. Very nice song to listen to, makes you think of yourself in a land full flowers and you're just laying there and looking at the beautiful sky. 8D. If you're down, listen to this song, dont read the translations of the lyrics first, LOL. The song gives out a blast of... i dunno what do you call it, LOL, but it's like no matter what happens, there'll always be someone supporting you. 8D. And when you get that feeling go read the translations, it's similar to what i typed, but, think of that other person in the lyrics as your friend or whoever you think may support you. 8D

I recommend you to listen to 'I'll be' by YUI.

Has alot of meaning, like i said in my previous post, she healed my soul when i was down and sad, of course, that was after i read the translations of most of her lyrics. 8D

You dont have to always think that the other person is a lover or anything in a certain lyrics just because it contains lovey dovey stuff, it can be whoever you think will support you in your life. 8D

I've been thinking, and maybe i do want to be a singer, to give inspirational and motivational( is there even such word as motivational, LOL. ) music like YUI. 8D

And go part time drawing mangas as i like because i did say i want to be a manga artist, i'm not gonna let that go to waste. 8D. Even if i dont get my stuff published, i can always have it posted as a webcomic. 8D

Yes, alot of '8Ds', and you'll be seeing alot more on the way, LOL, i'm just very very glad and happy( and the song i'm listening to is giving me some spirit, it's the same song btw, LOL. ) i could tell them how i felt. 8D

Though, the problem now is, how am i going to meet them in school. LOL. Well it shouldnt be a problem now. 8D. Just that i can go back to my last year self again, where i'm always left alone to draw while my friends chat beside me. 8D

But i dont think i want to go to school 'till next week, because if i were to look at them, you'll never know i'll go sad again and maybe break down. LOL. It happens, you'll never know. XD;;

From now and then, everytime when i'm down, i'll think of the people who'll support me in my life and be there for me when i needed them, and listen to songs that strives me. 8D

As most of you know me, i'm not the type to do my homework given by the teacher or study, but, even though i dont do them and maybe i'm just a sloth, i'm still good at heart, and i'm not boasting! I'm proud of it! 8D. Not doing my homework or study are just my really bad qualities that i should somehow gradually change in the future. 8D

I'm so glad and happy now, i dont know what i want to say anymore. 8D

I'll just leave it here as it is. 8D

Peace. >8Dv





'Everything's solved, a new path is opened, what lies beyond are new things that i shall soon venture, and i shall walk this new path with no regrets at heart.'





P/S: The quote above i wrote is inspired by the song i'm still listening to, Let it Out by Miho Fukuhara. :'Db *shot*

P/S/S: 3 more days 'till i perform for my family. OTL;;. You have no friggin' idea how many relatives i have. =A=

P/S/S/S: My Saber Lily ~Distant Avalon~ PVC arrived but it's still with my supplier. OTL;;. Because i still owe him/her RM300++?? OTL;;

P/S/S/S/S: I'm saving money for both Nendoroids, PVCs and the upcoming CF 09, i dont think i can save enough money by then, like how i couldn't sleep for a day last year, counting the amounts of money i'll need before CF. LOL.